But Mummy, it happened by an accident!!

OK, here is a list of things I suspect were not "technically" accidents. 


Bear in mind I am using the Webster's definition of an accident:
"An unforeseen or unplanned event or circumstance".


When the entire brand new toilet roll fell into the bowl because you were trying to kill a bug on the toilet seat, that wasn't really an accident.  Blind Freddie could have told you that with your smallish hands and the close proximity of the bowl, the chances of the roll going into said bowl were high.  This is not to mention your unparalleled fear of bugs which no doubt contributed to your lack of dexterity.


When you spilled chocolate sauce all through my makeup basket because you were creating a special potion in the bathroom, that my friend, was no accident.  Whilst you didn't MEAN to do it, to suggest that such an event was "unforseen" is I believe, inaccurate.  Particularly given the fact that I had said "don't take that chocolate sauce into the bathroom please".  Definition of "foreseen"....


When you were waiting to leave for the school disco, all dressed in your new outfit, and you decided to start playing with water bomb people, I did advise you against such activity.  When the water bomb man exploded and drenched you and your clothing, that was not an accident.  The fact that I had told you not to do so precludes such classification.  Foreseen, predicted, expected.


I understand that mistakes are made and that sometimes you have to learn the hard way but please, don't tell me it happened by "an accident".  Now hand me toilet brush while I fish the damned toilet roll out.