But Mummy, it happened by an accident!!

OK, here is a list of things I suspect were not "technically" accidents. 


Bear in mind I am using the Webster's definition of an accident:
"An unforeseen or unplanned event or circumstance".


When the entire brand new toilet roll fell into the bowl because you were trying to kill a bug on the toilet seat, that wasn't really an accident.  Blind Freddie could have told you that with your smallish hands and the close proximity of the bowl, the chances of the roll going into said bowl were high.  This is not to mention your unparalleled fear of bugs which no doubt contributed to your lack of dexterity.


When you spilled chocolate sauce all through my makeup basket because you were creating a special potion in the bathroom, that my friend, was no accident.  Whilst you didn't MEAN to do it, to suggest that such an event was "unforseen" is I believe, inaccurate.  Particularly given the fact that I had said "don't take that chocolate sauce into the bathroom please".  Definition of "foreseen"....


When you were waiting to leave for the school disco, all dressed in your new outfit, and you decided to start playing with water bomb people, I did advise you against such activity.  When the water bomb man exploded and drenched you and your clothing, that was not an accident.  The fact that I had told you not to do so precludes such classification.  Foreseen, predicted, expected.


I understand that mistakes are made and that sometimes you have to learn the hard way but please, don't tell me it happened by "an accident".  Now hand me toilet brush while I fish the damned toilet roll out.

The Broken Road

I’m looking down the barrel of 50.  Far out. When did I get so damned OLD?  Like everyone I guess, in my mind, I’m still 18.  It comes as a bit of shock when I look in the mirror and see those wrinkles and the sagging skin and the greying temples. 

I mean, I don’t expect to see Jessica Biel staring back at me but for goodness sakes, when did I turn into Kathleen Turner?   I'm talking “2011 Kathleen Turner” not “1980 Body Heat Kathleen Turner” by the way….  These days, I'm more Jessica Tandy than Jessica Biel.

As I approach 50, I’m not where I expected to be in my life. 

I don’t live in the house I dreamed I would.

I’m not happily married to the man I wanted to be. OK, "happily" would be an understatement.

I don’t have all the things I expected to by this age.  I don’t even own a washing machine
(that's a long story – I used to!)

What I do have though is a beautiful child who would not have come to me by any means other than the means by which she came.  Somehow, as I travelled along this twisted, broken road, making all manner of mistakes and misjudgements, I managed to find my way to her, and she to me.

I thank God every day for the blessing that she is.  The things I don’t have and the unfulfilled dreams pale into insignificance as I watch her sleeping soundly tonight.

Because I Said So!

I miss my Dad.  I miss him every day.

This is me with my Dad when I was only 9 months old on holidays up the coast.

This morning I heard myself tell my daughter to hurry up and get ready to leave for school and I actually said the words “Come on hurry up, lickety split!”  A Dad-ism.

It’s funny how little sayings like this just stay with you.  Anyone else find themselves repeating phrases from their parents? You know besides, "Because I'm the parent!" and "Because I said so!" or "Don't make me say it again!"  All the things you swear you'll never say when YOU are a parent you somehow find yourself uttering.

My daughter was eating her dinner at snail's pace last night as usual and I said to her "I won't say it again, eat your dinner!"  She just looked up at me and said "Yeah, you will" with a very cheeky little grin on her face.  She was right of course.